UNCLE J MAN - YOUR FAVOURITE AGONY AUNT!
GG writes:
Dear Uncle J Man. I have been going out with a girl for two years now. Her name is Mandy and she is really fit. However, we have been having some problems with our relationship. She constantly thinks I'm eyeing op other woman and frequently gets upset. What should I do?
Yours desperately, GG
J MAN writes:
Thank you for your e-mail GG. I have seen this problem hundreds of times. I can reassure you that it is very easily dealt with. Call round to her house tomorrow with an expensive rose. Take her out for an expensive meal - somewhere classy. Then do something active and expensive. The most important thing GG, is that you're seen to spend lots and lots of money on her. Go the full hog and splash out. You see GG, women love to feel like prostitutes. It's nothing short of genetic programming. By treating her like a professional prostitute, you are professing your undying love for her.
Mackers writes:
Yo! J MAN! What's happenin'? I've got this prob. My balls man, they're oways itchin'. I'm afwaid I got the big C 'O' somefin.
J MAN writes:
Thank you for your e-mail Mackers. This is a problem I went to the GP with last month. It turned out simply that I'm hung like a donkey, and my balls scratch along the ground when I walk. When the GP explained that I was so endowed, a whole pattern of problems were solved. I now understood why every time I was "stimulated" I got a black eye.
Mackers, I hope my advice helps. Good luck.
