Whiterussian Doctor slams Creeps in Night Clubs
The Whiterussian Doctor Big Phil revealed this week, that more and more women are being inappropriately approached by men in night clubs. Doctor Phil has been carrying out his research for two years now, and has uncovered some startling statistics.
Dr Big Phil
reviews his work, recently published in the Daily Sport
Dr Phil revealed that 66% of women have been inappropriately approached by men in night clubs in the last two years. These men have been identified by the female population as creeps. His research went further, stating that of these 66% of women, 99.9% were all dressed like prostitutes on the night in question, and flirted like heifers in heat. Furthermore, 65% of these women had an eating disorder.
This girl was dressed like a prostitute and had an eating disorder
“The social interaction was fascinating,” stated Big Phil, smoking on his pipe. “The girl would come in, and stand by herself at the end of the bar. She would look around her for anything from half-an-hour to an hour, all the time looking nervous and fidgety – like she was trying to work out where a bad odour was coming from. The next thing, boom!! A young man would appear and attempt to talk to the female subject. Although the woman initially would appear linguistically rude and uninterested, her body would reveal a different story.” Big Phil begins to take on a David Bellamy approach to his story, with wild flailing gestures. “She’d shove her breasts in the gentleman’s face, flick her hair in the light, stroke her bosom, contradicting anything she may have said earlier. It was deliciously fucked up.”
Dr Phil, sighs and scratches his nads. “I couldn’t believe it, the creep wouldn’t go away. Instead, he engaged her in further conversation. He talked about the weather, what he did, his family etc. The next thing I know, he’s bought her a drink. She accepts. Next thing he buys her a further 7 drinks, and starts offering her cigarettes. What a creep!! What a bastard!!”
Dr Big Phil “Cigarettes and drinks fuelled the whole thing. But I still can’t condemn them.”
“Before I knew it, he had kissed her. GIT!!! Next, she was leaving the bar and trailing him home. I followed at a discrete distance, and followed them into her room. I cunningly hid myself under one of her bras. She invited the young man to bed. The next thing I know, he wanted to ‘do it’ The girl did not. What did he expect? It wasn’t as if she led him on or anything. Men – what a pile of bastards!!!”
Dr Big Phil: “I’ve got something for you, ya male chauvinist pigs!”
But the shocks don’t stop there. Big Phil has conducted literature reviews from the finest scientific reports across the globe. One study demonstrated just how unfaithful these poor women were.
In fact, Britons are more promiscuous than ever before, a major national survey suggests.
The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles 2000 (Natsal 2000) found that women have more sexual partners than they did 10 years ago and are more likely to be unfaithful.
Dr Phil blamed the current trends on outrageous male behaviour “if creeps hadn’t been after them, these young girls would be half the slappers they are today.”
“Just because a girl chooses to dress and act like a slapper, doesn’t mean she wants to lure men or be appealing to them. No, no. She just wants to feel good.”
