DOV'S BIRTHDAY
The clock struck twelve, and I still hadn't come up with a plan for DOV's birthday. The Kolonel and I wrecked our brains thinking. Alas, nothing was happening. I asked myself, what would Sherlock Holmes do in a situation like this. Ah, yes, he would smoke his pipe of course...and the solution would present itself. With no pipe in reach, I did the next best thing.....
(J-Man lights 'em up, hoping that through smoking, the situation would
present itself.)
Then disaster.....nothing....nada......complete void. Apart from looking sophisticated, my mission was failing. I leant over to Priscilla Lusty Phil. I was desperate.
Priscilla Phil "Relax J-Man. With this electronic chip we can construct an elaborate......" I hadn't a clue what he was talking about, but I listened anyway ".......reversing the flow of electrons will be difficult, but not impossible. By rubbing myself furiously up and down a wall, I'm convinced I can build up enough static charge to trigger the mega transducer......"
I continued drinking. The Kolonel and I did some serious frowning, and of course, even more drinking. Nothing.
In the middle of the night, Priscilla Lusty Phil came to me in a dream.....with the chip...the electron flow....FRIG!!!!! He was actually in my room!!!!!! I leapt upright, terrified, as Lusty Phil continued "This chip is all you need J..."
(Priscilla Lusty Phil shows J-Man the massive electronic chip).
Then it hit me. I raced downstairs and grabbed the Kolonel, to explain my plan..... We would construct a machine. A drinking machine...
(J-Man highlights his plans to the Kolonel)
Two hours later and the plan had come to fruition. I'd done it. Using a gallon water fountain refill container, a washing machine hose, the Kolonel's gym bag.....I had constructed a horrifying work.
(The Kolonel gives an approving grin)
Priscilla Lusty Phil stood back and whistled. "Waoh! Just wait until the electronic..." but we weren't listening. Pouring in the alcohol, I realised the pure genius of the device. It was ready. We tested it.....good shit!
It was party time. DOV would arrive soon.........
PARTY TIME
(DOV spots the J-Man's creation - "NO! IT CAN'T
BE!!!!")
The challenge was extended, to increase DOV's loathing. He would have to drink a eighth of a gallon within half an hour....Within no time, DOV was suited up, wearing the pack, sucking it up.
(DOV sucks long and hard).
(The Whiterussian team support DOV, as he feels his life force
being sucked back down the tube.)
(DOV looks forward to another drink after vomiting for the
fourth time)
(The Whiterussian Doctor - BIG PHIL, meets with Priscilla Lusty
Phil in a cross community tension building exercise.
Venue - why, the Northern Whig of course.)
(DOV faces his fears like a man)
(Isn't that the girl from Star Wars???)
After the Whig, the hardened Whiterussian guys wanted more. Grabbing the Lady's, they dragged them to Milk, where the J-Man experienced a psychotic episode.
(What have you done with Nikki!!! Last time I checked,
she didn't have a false right eye!!!)
Needless to say, the nights celebrations were a big hit. The Kolonel and the J-Man would like to take this opportunity to congratulate DOV.
Congratulations DOV, you've made it to 22, that's two years more than even we expected.
(DOV - past his sell-buy date, but still going strong)
