Professor Steve-O Hawking: keeping it Real
Now we here at White Russian are all on for doing things in the best possible
taste: you only have to see the lads out for a few quiet Chardonnay's of an
evening to know that.
Admittedly it may occasionally look like the Kolonel is lying in the gutter unconscious,
but I assure you that he is merely concentrating really hard on the
sky.
And when the J-man is blatantly leering at a girls cleavage? Why, he is merely
brushing up on his basic anatomy knowledge - very conscientious the J-man; he
does it every weekend.
Therefore, we bring you another article in the best possible taste.
I know its hard to believe, but we here at White Russian have actually teamed up
with Professor Steven Hawking (or "Steve-O Mad Dog" as he likes to be
called by his close friends), to bring you his views and ravings on all things
other than quantum physics!
The Professor gives his opinion on the new-look White Russian site
(Professor Steven "Mad Dog" Hawking: Quantum Physicist, awesome poker
player, and probably the only person in the world that hasn't kicked the J-mans
ass at squash. Yet.)
Hopefully this will become a weekly feature. (For those of you who are regulars here at the site, this normally means that it will happen for at most two weeks and then I get bored of it; but I promise to try this time)
So, here are a few of the funnier Hawking-isms we have come up with so far. They are quite large, but we will be updating them so that you get a fresh dose weekly - we have enough to last for months.
We took the big man out for the night, to make sure he was OK with us featuring him on the site. Obviously this involved us getting him so blitzed that he couldn't remember his own name let alone come up with a working version of the Unified Field Theory. Here's what happened:
At the start of a typical White Russian night out, Steve-O spots a pretty girl and vocalizes what we are all thinking.
But, unfortunately as the night progresses Steve-O has a few too many tequilas and starts to get abusive at the other clientele.
Angry words are exchanged.
The Steve-meister gives the White Russian team the signal to attack.
Unfortunately, the Police arrive in the middle of the ensuing violence. Mad Dog Hawking does little to ease tensions.
Luckily, by following DOV's Guide to
Fooling The Fuzz we manage to avoid arrest.
Another successful night!
Now it's your turn.
You've seen how easy it is to be funny using a hacked version of Steven
Hawkings Bell Laboratory voice synthesizer.
Think you can come up with something funny for Steve-O to say?
Submit your ideas using the forum of the site, and we'll put them
up. Unless they suck.
It's great getting Steve to say famous movie quotes, for example:
The
speech from Gladiator
And so on.
If we can get around the programming, we may even be able to put a function on
the site to allow you to type in anything you fancy and hear the Professor
repeat it back to you.
More fun than a cat in a tumble drier, I think you'll find!
So: get submitting and we will put your suggestions to Professor Hawking and see if he will oblige us.
