Saint Paddy’s Day Pub Crawl 2005
It was that time of year again. The sun had risen, as it always does in the mornings, boasting the beginning’s of a new day. However, this time, was slightly different than previous….
In the keeping of whiterussian tradition, Saint Patrick’s day is usually spent achieving advanced states of mental incompetence through the exceeded intake of fermented vegetable products, in a mass pub crawl through Belfast. We discuss many things, from politics, right down to the to the “they cant be real” arguments (and I think all you bra pushing gel wonders out there know exactly what im talking about).
Indeed, this Whiterussian was very special. The J-Man and The Pete had uncovered a way to relaunch Whiterussian….and this time….they had the voice of experience….
1015 a.m. J-man wakes up. Destroyed from the drunken planning of the night before.
1027 a.m. The Pete, still partying from the night before, bitches in tow, receives the J-Man's call.
1037 a.m. The Judge suddenly realises he is in an uderground casino, and doing rather well for himself. Grinning from ear-to-ear, the Judge places his final bet on black 40!
1055 a.m. Two hours later than planned, the Whiterussian Boys meet up again – missing one important member DOV, - who apparently was half way round the world when he realised it was saint paddy’s day.
11a.m. LET THE ORGY COMMENCE!!! Sitting around, drinking champagne, the Whiterussian Boys reflected on yet another year (and a lot more booze). The Kolonel boasted yet again about how his sperm were found to be “swimming in the wrong direction” during his latest donation attempt.
The Kolonel. Proud as Punches
1130a.m. The Beaten Docket. The whiterussian lads toast to the newbies – the ginger wonder and “the lady” (A nice non-derogatory term to avoid me getting a severe laceration around my Netherlands)
Loosing all track of time, armed with only the kolonels portable sundial, strapped to a two inch wide wrist, the crew ventured on.
The Venue: The Northern Whig Getting more oiled, and slightly lubricated “the lady” finds herself posted on “The Judge’s” knee.
Moving onto The Basement, The Crew is later joined by the mighty Joe Belfast and Ray Ray. Embarking on a glorious “race of the drink match” the J-Man boasts a 2.11 second download time.
The Ginger "Did the j-man seriously drink that in 2.11 seconds." The judge" glorious in his 2.05 second victory
As the night moved on, the conversation developed to a new level. Who were the original founders of humanity. The kolonel, reading from his good book, determines the origins in a couple name adam and steve. The Whiterussian Crew listens intently…
The Judge however, is less impressed. Spouting his own version of “truth” The Judge describes an event where four lesbians dominated the world and gave birth to a “new breed”. Unimpressed, nobody listens.
The “ginger” demonstrates how steve, would have positioned himself for adam.
The night carried through, way onto the we hours of themorning, in typical Whiterussian fashion. Alas, at the end , only the truly "hard" prevailed. While the Judge needed a good layin, the J-man leaned in "there's always next year!"
