The White Russian “White Russian” Review III
Its that time again folks, where I review websites which appear when you type “White Russian” into an Internet search engine.
I have a lot of work on trying to finish Office Xtreme Sports (it’s on its way, I swear), so you are getting a short review this week. You don’t have to like it, so stop whining.
DOV: “Anyone got a problem with this article? Huh? Do you want me to pop a cap?”
This week, we have a site run by someone who obviously has far, far too much free time on his hands. Combine this with access to some outstandingly cool technology and you have:
These dudes have access to seriously powerful
microscopes and image enhancement equipment. So what did they chose to use
it for? I hear you ask.
To find a cure for cancer?
To
genetically modify wheat to feed the starving children of the world?
No.
Instead, they used it to scan in pictures of cocktails in microscopic detail.
These scientists are Heroes. Every goddamn one of
them.
I’d be willing to bet everything I own that the
idea came to them while absolutely blitzed at the laboratory Christmas party:
the best ideas always do.
Well, here it is folks; a White Russian under the microscope:
Warning: if you look into your glass and see this at the bottom without the aid of a scanning electron microscope, you have probably had too much to drink.
I’ll let the guys from MSU explain further:
“Cocktails are classically defined as a beverage derived from a combination of distilled alcohol, such as vodka or whiskey, with a mixer. The mixer can be a very broad spectrum of fruit juices, sodas, liqueurs, vegetable juices, and just about everything else under the sun [in the J-mans case this typically includes Rasberryade or Toilet Duck- Ed.]
We have found these cocktails to be one of the most difficult subjects for photomicrography (photography with a microscope) that we have ever encountered. In our system, we must crystallize or orient the sample so that polarized light will be refracted as it passes through--giving us the beautiful patterns that we typically see with this type of microscopy [this is scientist speak for “we got blitzed and poured some booze into the big metal thing, and a shiny picture came out. Hehehe.” – Ed]. Unfortunately getting pure tequila (or its counterparts) to crystallize has proven to be extremely difficult [unless you happen to be the J-mans Liver – Ed]. Without divulging all of our tricks, we have found methods (such as cooling with liquid nitrogen) that can be used to force crystallization on the most stubborn specimens [This is scientist speak for “we would like to tell you how we did it, really we would, but we haven’t got a fucking clue” – Ed]. This gallery represents a significant part of our efforts in this arena [scientist speak for “Oh Christ, i've wasted my life. I'm going to die alone…. –Ed].”
Check the full cocktail list out Here
Happy Drinking!
DOV
